“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
~ Bob Marley
We all know heartbreak can be one of the hardest and most painful experiences to go through.
Some of us have been through it once, others many times.
It never gets easier, but I am here to tell you that we can get better at it.
Love is one of the greatest parts of life.
It’s mysterious and exciting, passionate, and comforting all at the same time.
But with all the good that comes with love, comes the inevitable tale of heartbreak.
Some people avoid love all together, just so they never have to feel the pain of having their heart beaten and bruised.
However, if there is one thing in this world worth suffering for, it’s love.
Once we learn to accept love and heartbreak as the yin and yang of one whole enthralling and tantalizing experience, we can find peace with whatever comes out of it.
Just like love, heartbreak works in mysterious ways.
While we cannot control it, we can find ways to accept it and let it be.
If you are suffering from a little heartbreak, here are a few tips to help you keep your head up and your heart strong:
1. Nothing lasts forever, not even pain.
The first and most important thing to remember is that nothing lasts forever.
The world is impermanent. And thankfully, so is your pain.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking you are going to be heartbroken forever.
As experience has taught many, it’s never the case.
Instead of thinking the pain is a part of you, see it as something that is just passing through you.
Never ignore it, bury it, or pretend it’s not there.
Observe it, say hello to it, and know that eventually with a little work one day you will wake up and it will be gone.
2. Don’t be afraid to feel sad.
The most life changing advice I have ever been given was that it was okay to be sad.
It’s something that is so simple, and yet even I never realized it until somebody said it to me.
Once I realized that it was okay to be sad, I felt a thousand pounds lift off of my shoulders.
All that anxiety and stress I was feeling about being sad went out the window, and pleasantly enough, only calm sadness was left.
We have been taught by society and everything around us that being sad is a bad thing.
That it makes us look, seem, and feel weak.
Sadness, just like happiness, is a natural part of life that should be felt.
When you accept your sadness, you take away its power over you.
Say to yourself, “Im really sad right now, and that’s ok.”
Now, instead of spending your time fighting that sadness, go on living your life.
The real reason we worry about sadness is because we are afraid it’s going to last forever.
But eventually, it always goes away.
3. All you need is time.
It’s not a myth when they say only time will heal a broken heart.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that they should be over something when they are not.
You can’t rush time. It always works at it’s own pace.
Stop trying to control it and let it be.
Heartbreak can last a few months, a year, or even many years.
Don’t stress yourself out worrying about time when you have more important things around you like your family and friends, your hopes and your dreams.
Don’t waste your time worrying about time.
Don’t worry about your future self, how you will feel next week, in a month, or in a year.
Focus on yourself in the present, find ways to make yourself happy now, and time will take care of the rest.
You never know where time is going to take you, let yourself be surprised.
4. Don’t torture yourself.
In this day and age, heartbreak is harder then it has ever been.
Not because we love more, but because our pain is constantly put in front of us.
Teasing us, taunting us.
Back in the day when you broke up with your significant other, you may have had an awkward encounter if you lived in the same city, otherwise, they were pretty much out of your life.
These days with social media, your ex is everywhere.
With the click of a button you can see where they are, how they are doing, and their new life post your relationship.
Don’t torture yourself by looking.
As tempting as it may be, it always causes more pain than satisfaction.
Examining their life is not going to make yours any better.
This is the time when you should be focusing on yourself, making yourself better.
Focus on your own happiness, not theirs.
5. Surround yourself with a good support system.
Your friends will save your life during your heartbreak.
Heartbreak tends to leave us questioning everything we know about love and compassion.
Don’t let the pain and sadness cloud your mind with illusions.
Just because one source of love and compassion is out of your immediate reach, doesn’t mean there are not others.
It might be easier to be at home alone with your sadness, and at times you should take those moments, but nothing will surely raise your spirits more than being around as much love and compassion as you can.
Let your family and friends remind you that there is plenty of love left in the world, and that it will always be around you if you let it.
6. Replace your sadness with gratitude.
Instead of being sad about something that is over, be grateful that it happened.
When your mind flashes to those happy memories of joy and laughter, smile that they even happened.
Love is a privilege, not a right.
It only comes to those who are brave enough to open themselves to it.
Instead of feeling defeated, be proud.
You felt love, and you gave love.
Somebody changed your life, and you changed theirs.
There are not many people in the world who can say that.
Be proud you are one of those people. Be grateful that you got that experience.
Instead of being sad about a love passed, be excited for the next one coming.
“The heart was made to be broken.”
~ Oscar Wilde